We all received the latest newsletter from VIVLIN recently that this website is now back online, so I thought I would continue my BLOG and would appreciate your comments just so I know somebody somewhere is reading this.

 

 I played ‘truant' from Church today, please don't ask me what happened as I still cannot explain what happened to me today. It all started when I noticed grey hair on my head, last night, SHOCK!!!! Horror!! I was mortified. I am too young for this, where has my life gone? I concluded it was genetic and not really a sign of old age approaching, or was it? Panic, panic, then I was calm, and then I was not. Somebody help me! What have I done with my life so far? I could not account for my days.

 

 

 I know you all are sick and tired of my moaning about my not being married, but I actually felt the TICK, TOCK of my biological clock drumming in my ears. Who would bury me when I died? Or look after me when I am sick, down etc. I went to bed numb, I could not pray. Trying to figure out IVF and donors, if you get my drift, even I knew that was a bit extreme. Does that mean I lacked faith? But why had God not answered certain prayers? I know He answers prayers and He had answered mine. I concluded that I lacked the skill to bring the answered prayer into reality.

 

 

 I woke up late because I was up late last night. I tried my best to hurriedly prepare for church. I did get ready, I left the house but I did not know where to turn, I did not want to go church as I was late, so I did not want to be rude coming in late, apart from that it was not my turn to host Children's church. I felt something telling me to go back home. I felt extremely ‘tired' my legs felt like Lead.

 

 

 My life is usually very busy filled running little errands, making appearances at people's party because "I don't want people to talk". I attend church events etc, go to work etc. Why do I feel my life has been wasted so far just because I do not have a ring or child? Is that what gives meaning to my life. To tell you the truth, I just could not face another sermon on" having faith or that my life was my hands, I just needed to speak the word"

 

 I went to fill out a Dr's prescription instead, was that rebellion? I don't know, somehow I just wanted some of my life back. On my way I noticed a very young pretty lady dressed in a Nigerian outfit, trying to find directions to a Sunday market. Very, unlike me, I offered her my help and asked if I could join her in her shopping, she agreed. I craved new conversations. She seemed surprised and I suspect at the back of her mind she must be thinking, ‘what does this Lady want?' She told me I was beautiful, to which I replied ‘thank you'. I thanked God for the compliment, because that was not how I felt and this was beauty queen in my eyes.

 

 For most of the part, we were quiet, she asked the dreaded question ‘are you married?' to which I replied ‘no, I have been hiding for too long'. We exchanged a few details like what part of Nigeria we hailed from etc, but for the most part we walked quietly. She offered to buy me shoes, I thanked her with a smile and told her that I had too many (which is the truth). As we walked back to get a bus, she took my hands and clung to me as we walked, and called me ‘Aunty', she took my telephone number and promised to call me. When I left her as she hurried back to another Aunty, I knew she had found a friend. I was grateful.

 

 So in my new found boldness and confidence, I walked into my local ‘Starbucks', still something I had never done before as I thought it was filled with young professionals with ‘High flying careers'. I told the coffe guy, that I did not know what to order and we both designed one for me with hazelnut syrup. Thank God I did not order cake or muffin to stuff my face with be cause just as I walked past a table on my way out I say this man sitting quietly. Don't ask where I found the courage from to ask "would you mind terribly, if I joined you?" He had the most amazing and inviting smile and he said "ok".

 

 I sat down, now what? What do I do? Do I have to say something? He was white and stubble on his face. I don't usually talk to white men sitting on their own. After feeling uncomfortable for a few seconds, I made excused myself to go and get a newspaper from the shop next door.

 

 I sat back down and started conversations with my now coffee date. It turned out he was a sound engineer from France who was visiting and was passing time before making his way to the airport before catching a flight back to France. We talked about music, the language, differences between Paris and London, work etc. We even shared a ‘comfortable silence'. I felt so refreshed, I thought of  inviting him back to my flat to so he could wait in more comfortable surroundings, but I was not quite sure if that was appropriate.

 

 So what do you think I did? Come visit my blog next time you visit this website to find out what actually happenedJ.

Hi  Thank God, its Friday, Bring on the weekend I say!

 

With a headline like that you would think I have something big planned for the weekend, Nada! Nothing!

 

I will, most likely be going to the market, buying food stuff, Cooking, cleaning etc. Boring! Then it is the TV for the rest of the night! The next day, Sunday will be church and by the time I get home its time to get ready for work the following day.

 

I met 2 interesting people this week, one of which was an ex school mate in Secondary school, She called out to me, after greeting me and hugging, she introduced her Husband and 7 yr old son to me! 7 yrs old? When did we finish Secondary school for her to have a 7yr old. And was that a look of pity I saw fleetingly accross her face when she realised that I was not 'banded' (wedding ring)? or have I become paranoid?

 

I concluded I had been left on the shelf, so I might as serve God with all my might and I shall have life more abundantly! See you next time. Please if like me you are too shy, start your blogs, I will be interested to read about your interesting lives!

 

 

Hello every one, I am the first one to create a blog in this brand new Network. I am a christian and I am a 'good girl' well at least by most standards. I obeyed my parents, did well at school, graduated and got a  nice job and career. I serve in Church